You're
counting down the days until you become a dad--the moment your life
changes forever.
No one has to tell you that when you become a dad, your life is forever
changed. In the months leading up to my son's birth, I politely smiled
and nodded as well-meaning people kept trying to prepare me for
fatherhood by telling me the same tired cliches: "Say goodbye to your
social life!" or "Get plenty of sleep now, because soon you'll be
wishing you could." (As if it's possible to stockpile sleep for later
use). Sure, there is some truth in their advice, but there's also a
bright side to the social and psychological changes you go through after
becoming a dad. Read on to learn seven ways your life will change when
Baby arrives, and how to embrace the differences.
Here are seven changes you can expect as you embark into fatherhood.
1. Your "me" time disappears from your schedule.
Most
guys need a little time to space out -- to think about nothing in order
to recharge. Once you're a dad, you have to be creative to get this
time back in your life, and you'll probably feel like you need it more
than ever, no matter how much you love spending time with your new
addition. You may have to wake up 30 minutes earlier for work, or
partner up with your wife to help each other grab a few do-nothing
breaks. Designating regular time for yourself isn't selfish; it's
essential to being a focused dad.
2. You are now responsible in a way that you have never been before.
Now,
you may constantly realize just how seemingly unqualified you are for
the job of fatherhood; you may question your ability to care for a
child, and your worthiness, every step of the way. But rest
assured--you're not the first dad to feel this way: We didn't come
programmed on this whole parenting thing, but we were programmed to wing
it.
3. Although you're overly
aware of your role as a provider, you may become intimidated and
frustrated by what your gender's limitations are.
You
can't breastfeed, but you can help your wife get comfortable while she
nurses. You may not have the instincts to wake up as easily when the
baby cries in the middle of the night, but if the baby sleeps in your
room, you can sleep on the side of the bed closer to the baby. That way,
you'll be more likely to wake up and better able to help out with those
2 A.M. feedings.
4. You will feel that no matter how much money you make, it will never be enough to care for your new child's needs.
Paying
your child's doctor's bills, buying his clothes, saving up for his
college education--when it all adds up it can weigh on you and your bank
account. The good news about not being a millionaire, though, is that
most other parents aren't millionaires either, and they're all doing
just fine. Obviously, it's going to be vital for you and your wife to
create and stick to a weekly budget to stay on top of the game.
5. The new social norm is to spend basically all of your free time with your partner and baby.
You
may feel guilty about leaving your wife and baby at home when you go
out to do anything other than work or buy diapers. But just as you have
to purposely set aside some time for yourself and your family, it's
important that you pencil in some time for your friends and hobbies,
even if it's considerably less time than before. The same goes for your
wife.
6. Naturally, your new circle of friends will consist of other parents.
The
good news is, these sometimes seemingly forced friendships end up
becoming great support groups. You instantly have new friends who relate
to you, and they'll likely have good and relevant advice for you. As
for your existing single and/or childless guy friends, make time to do
activities with them outside of your new-parents circle. That way, they
can still relate to the old you and not feel intimated by the new you.
7. You adopt a new version of being cool.
Gone
are the days of being called just "a guy"; you will now be forever seen
by all as a dad. The sports you used to play with your buddies
eventually become the sports you teach your kids. That overpriced latte
on your desk in the morning has been replaced by work coffee in a mug
that reads "I love you Daddy." And, honestly, you won't even mind the
changes because the biggest change is your biggest reward: your kid.
(source: parents.com)
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